My African Adventure…

Yesterday, I took Boobah to a casting agency in Melville. I think my boy is absolutely gorgeous, and I would be very selfish for keeping that all to myself. Because I don't know the area very well, and I tend to be very directionless, I asked The Dad to borrow his GPS Navigator. All went well, and we got there safely, even though I made a couple of wrong turns. The great thing about the GPS is that it automatically works out a new route for you on the fly, in case you are retarded like I am, and don't follow instructions very well. Like I said, we got there eventually. Now my adventure starts the moment we leave. The Dad asked if I wouldn't mind coming round his place of work, so he can show off his kid to everybody there. I have no qualms with that, nor any other places I need to be, so I agree. The Dad works in Alberton, I was in Melville. Logically, one would assume to get onto the M1, drive around Johannesburg to get to the N3 and then onto Alberton we go. And I would've, had I realized – in time - that the damn GPS was set to 'Avoid Highways'!!!!! But I didn't. So I went straight through THE FUCKING CENTER OF BLOODY JOHANNEBURG!!!
Here I am, a teeny tiny white girl in her pink little car with a little baby person in the back, being squished from all sides at the biggest damn Taxi Rank I have ever seen in my life, scared totally shitless, panicking so bad my Clutch-foot started wobbling uncontrollably feeling like I'm screaming EASY TARGET at the top of my lungs. I quickly take of all my jewelry and bling and shiny stuff, shove it in the side panel and hide my phone in the ashtray bowl and slide the GPS under my seat so as not to attract any more attention to us. It's sad how, in this beautiful country, life has taken so many turns and twists that one has to be scared to drive through one of the most beautiful areas in Gauteng – has anyone even bothered to take a look at how ornate the old buildings in JHB CBD actually are – and feel so paranoid and anxious about it. Remember what happened to Peas not so long ago? And in the same area. I am posting some pics of a map taken of Veza Route Planner. It's from a road in Melville, to Jules Street in Jeppestown. This is where I actually ended up at one stage. Luckily from here I had more or less an idea of how to get onto the M1, but by then the mental damage had already been done.

This is the way I should've gone:

And this is probably how I ended up going:

The green block is where I saw the biggest Taxi Rank I've ever seen in my life!

Needless to say, when I eventually got to The Dad's place of work, I gave him a piece of my mind, and told him exactly how lucky he is to not have me shove that damn GPS up his ass, and that I hadn't thrown it out the window. He apologized profusely and bought me lunch to calm me down. All the while, Boobah is sitting in the back of the car, playing with his Barney.

We are safe, and survived to tell the tale.

YAY!